Private Message to Padma Patil
Sep. 8th, 2011 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_lanaPadma, I'm very sorry to have let so many days go by without answering your note. It was lovely to hear from you and to remember how exciting the first days back at school always were. It all sounds rather wonderful.
Thanks for asking after my grandmother. I'm so very grateful to your brother and the other Healers who took care of her. They saved her life. But it seems there was much more to it than just the physical injury she suffered. It was really all so horrible that my Abuela Luisa is still in shock over it. She's slipping, I guess you'd say. We're all very worried for her.
Oh, to be honest, I think I'm still in shock, too, rather. Do you know, I've never been so glad I have work to pour myself into, and in the first days after the Cup I was pulled in to help on the investigation. On the office end of it, processing reports and coordinating information among the units.
But now I'm back to my intensive, which is with our very top specialist in Arcane Magics, but, Padma, I never thought I'd say this about a challenging subject, but it's just so lifeless. I can't find any part of it to enjoy. And I don't know whether it's because it seems so useless in contrast to everything that's just happened, or whether it's because Mustinal is dull--and, oh, dear, he really is--or whether it's because I've discovered that I'm really more suited to the active parts of investigation and there haven't been any matters that required him to actually be involved, so he's just working on writing his current book.
It's just really difficult to feel engaged, and it's so easy to think about things that I want to set aside and never think of again.
I keep hearing the roar of it, and it's as though I can still feel the way the floor and then everything else rumbled--even the air--and then I see that girder falling and the stone showering down in all those crumbled bits all around us. And on us.
I'm sorry. I know you remember it, too. Only, we just haven't any of us talked about it. Not at home and not at work, except the professional aspects of sorting through evidence.
And I know that's best. Really, it's the only way to get on with all the things that need doing. I only wish I were assigned somewhere I could actually be useful.
Well. That was more than you wanted to know, and I didn't mean to worry you or disappoint you when you think everything I've been doing has been exciting. It was. Really, it was up until this latest assignment, and it will get better again, so don't put much weight on what I've said here.
I hope you continue to have a wonderful fourth year. I rather envy you, having the tournament there and all the visitors. So do enjoy it. And write to tell me about it when you have a chance.
Thanks for asking after my grandmother. I'm so very grateful to your brother and the other Healers who took care of her. They saved her life. But it seems there was much more to it than just the physical injury she suffered. It was really all so horrible that my Abuela Luisa is still in shock over it. She's slipping, I guess you'd say. We're all very worried for her.
Oh, to be honest, I think I'm still in shock, too, rather. Do you know, I've never been so glad I have work to pour myself into, and in the first days after the Cup I was pulled in to help on the investigation. On the office end of it, processing reports and coordinating information among the units.
But now I'm back to my intensive, which is with our very top specialist in Arcane Magics, but, Padma, I never thought I'd say this about a challenging subject, but it's just so lifeless. I can't find any part of it to enjoy. And I don't know whether it's because it seems so useless in contrast to everything that's just happened, or whether it's because Mustinal is dull--and, oh, dear, he really is--or whether it's because I've discovered that I'm really more suited to the active parts of investigation and there haven't been any matters that required him to actually be involved, so he's just working on writing his current book.
It's just really difficult to feel engaged, and it's so easy to think about things that I want to set aside and never think of again.
I keep hearing the roar of it, and it's as though I can still feel the way the floor and then everything else rumbled--even the air--and then I see that girder falling and the stone showering down in all those crumbled bits all around us. And on us.
I'm sorry. I know you remember it, too. Only, we just haven't any of us talked about it. Not at home and not at work, except the professional aspects of sorting through evidence.
And I know that's best. Really, it's the only way to get on with all the things that need doing. I only wish I were assigned somewhere I could actually be useful.
Well. That was more than you wanted to know, and I didn't mean to worry you or disappoint you when you think everything I've been doing has been exciting. It was. Really, it was up until this latest assignment, and it will get better again, so don't put much weight on what I've said here.
I hope you continue to have a wonderful fourth year. I rather envy you, having the tournament there and all the visitors. So do enjoy it. And write to tell me about it when you have a chance.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 01:04 pm (UTC)I think it just takes a long time, sometimes, to get over a really horrible thing happening. I mean, we are all so used to being safe behind the wards, you know? And MLE takes such care with the preparations so there really shouldn't have ever been a problem. It's like Director Yaxley said, that it couldn't have happened without someone like Hooper's brother helping them on the inside.
And maybe the older a person is, the harder it is to recover. Does your grandmother have anything she really likes to do? My Dadi loves to clean, of all things, when she's upset. When Sanji went missing the house was spotless and she wouldn't let anyone else even lift a duster.
But I do think that talking about it is bound to help. Not dwelling on it, you know, but thinking clearly about what made it scary and how to prevent something like it ever happening again, and being able to be sad now and then. And reflecting on how we all responded to the crisis.
Which you did so beautifully, Lana, really. I'm sure you made an impression on even your worst critics at MLE. And as far as the Arcane Magics--you're right, it sounds as if it ought to be completely fascinating. It's really a shame it's not. It's sort of like History of Magic with Binns, isn't it, or
how Professor Carrow got worseI dunno, revising for OWLs, I expect. Maybe you could talk to someone who's been through the unit with him before and get some pointers on how to make it more interesting. And meanwhile, talk to everyone you can about the next unit, so you'll be sure to get a better assignment.I mean, it stands to reason that not everything about crime-fighting can be exciting but you're clearly never meant for mere desk work!
I'm actually really flattered that you told me all this. Truly. I remember how much you helped me in my first and second years, with everything that was going on, and I'm glad if I can repay it just a little now and then.
I think the tournament will be interesting, but really, there's only one champion each so what's going to be the most interesting will be having the other students here. Do you know if there will be very many coming who are in our year? Or will they all be older? Or maybe you don't know if you've been stuck in a musty old office all this time.
Oh, Lana, it will get better for you, it has to do! They just can't put you in a cupboard for very long. It wouldn't be fair to the rest of us, either. After all, we need you doing what you're best at!
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 02:21 pm (UTC)But to tell truth, I quite enjoyed revising for OWLs and NEWTs: I loved combing back through all the material and designing ways to sort it in my head so I could remember each bit of it quickly. You'll be surprised, I think, how really wonderful it feels to prepare for exams. Especially while everyone else and their familiars whinge on about how overwhelmed they are!
About the tournament, though, I completely agree that the most interesting part will be meeting the students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. That will be so enriching.
But the best of it is that you'll meet a whole new set of boys you'd never have met any other way. I expect you'll find the French and Bulgarians very much more interesting than the boys you've known for ages.
Meeting strangers is really thrilling, I think. Mind you, I've only had a few chances and all since I've begun working, but it's a treat when it happens.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-09 04:29 pm (UTC)I did sit with the Prefects more often than not this week. Not completely, because I don't want to ignore Su Li and Belinda and Linus, of course. But it's ever so much more interesting taking meals with the older kids. And just last night Davies specifically asked me what I thought about Cox's chance to be Hogwarts' champion. Well, it's the sort of thing that's hard to answer without offending someone, isn't it, but I said that I thought any of the Ravenclaws in 6th or 7th year had a better chance than Bundy or Fleet, and they all laughed and said 'Good show' and Davies in particular sort of smiled at me in a--well, a considering sort of way.
I dunno. He's two years ahead. Which is a lot. But if someone like Davies is noticing, then some of the older boys from Durmstrang or Beauxbatons would be likely to take an interest, too. But then what? They'll go back and we'll still be here. Unless this means that the Lord Protector's considering opening the wards more often? That would be wizard, being able to travel.
Then there's that Finch-Fletchley boy. He seems very nice--but then, he seems like he's nice to everyone. It's a little ridiculous, actually. I can't make out whether he's daft or just desperate. I mean, I saw his picture in that little bit that was in the papers, he's well handsome, but, he doesn't seem terribly discerning, know what I mean?
Anyway, I should get on to lessons. But it's so nice to be able to talk to you again. You've been so busy and I haven't wanted to bother you. I hope that when you do move on to another specialty, you can manage to stay in touch even with all the other things going on!